A reminder that I am not in control

I thought that I was for sure in labor. I talked to my aunt about it, waited a few hours, talked to my doctor about it, and got the "Go get checked out at labor and delivery." In other words, I sounded like I was in labor and I should go to the hospital.

My aunt and I packed my back (because I was so prepared like that) and we calmly made out way to the hospital. I kept saying that it wasn't necessary, that I was almost sure I wasn't in labor, but I couldn't help but feel that excitement build inside of me. We got to the hospital and made our way to labor and delivery. People walking by gave me knowing looks and smiles, and I felt the excitement build even more. I got dressed in gowns and they hooked my stomach up to a monitor. With the nurses taking everything so seriously, I thought, "I must be in labor!"

And an hour later I was sent home with, "You couldn't have known unless you came in, but you're not in labor. Come back next time and maybe it'll be different!"

Sigh. I don't think that anyone can understand that sort of disappointment and embarrassment unless you've been there. I decided to take things into my own hands and make it happen.

I started off bike riding because it makes me contract. Not sure why, but when I go bike riding, I have contractions almost the entire time. It used to scare me, but now when I ride, I start getting excited. "Perhaps this will make it happen!" When the first 2 mile bike ride didn't work, I started walking, as this is the second most used way to go into labor. Walking with my medical community astounding swollen legs is not easy. I did it anyway. When I was in too much pain, I simply walked to the end of the street and back. When I felt better, I walked a mile. No labor, and my feet felt like falling off. Getting a bit desperate, I asked my aunt to help me on the trampoline. I bounced and bounced and then sat down and had my aunt bounce and bounce me, like popcorn. (We called it pop-a-baby.) No luck.

I'm guessing that what everyone has been saying, ("When that baby is ready, he'll come out!") is the heart wrenching truth. New studies even say that the sure-fire way (sex) doesn't actually work unless you're about to go into labor anyway. And according to the fetal stress test that they did at the hospital, not only is he fine where he is, he's thriving. More responsive then most babies. Apparently I have a very happy uterus. Great.

Am I giving up? No. Staying active helps my morale at the very least, helps keep me healthy and my blood pumping, and at most will send me into labor. Do I expect to go into labor? I must say, I've given up hope at going into labor before she said she would induce. (Because of the extreme swelling, cramping, and the fact that he's now making his way to 8 lbs, she said that she would induce at 39 weeks.)

That seems so far away, even though it's only 6 days. Everyday is long and a struggle to get through, but the days will tick by, and soon I will have my baby with me, not to mention my husband. Thank goodness for my family for providing support, distractions, and amusement to help me get through the "home stretch". Soon, everything will change. Soon.