Like many first moms, I had never played with a true baby before. I've played with toddlers and even babies around a year old, but I never even considered how to play with an infant. After watching my aunt play with him, I began to pick up my own kind of style.
The trick to playing with babies is to not make any sense at all while using a high voice and tickling them. For instance, when he's just wearing a diaper, I'll say "Woooo!" while I dip my head and tickle his stomach with my hair. Sometimes, I'll make my hands into spiders and, to the Jaws theme song, crawl up his legs and tickle him under his arms. When he's wearing a shirt, I push my face slightly into his stomach and shake it around going "Hooooo!" and if he's shirtless, I make the same noise while blowing on his stomach.
All of these make him wide eyed, kick his legs, making cooing sounds, and sometimes even smile.
Other times that I play with him are distractions for what is about to happen. For instance, if he's in a bad mood and I have to change his diaper, I'll whoooosh him around and make airplane noises as I lay him down on the changing table. When he's fussy and I'm at my limit, I'll put him in his stroller and do "drunken baby strolling" which consists of lots of swerving, light bumps, and warnings of "Ohhhh nooo Jude, you're gonna crash!!"
Sometimes, I set him in his bouncer and turn it sideways. He turns his head to the side and watches TV with me. Seriously! I had no idea that little babies did this, but he looooves to watch TV, especially music videos. (Preferably rock.)
I love to dance around with him, but I don't see this as playing. I see it as practice for later :)
Sometimes we play "Where's Jude?!" which is either when I pull a blanket over his head and whip it off, or when he's in his crib and I hide underneath it and pop my head up. That's one of this favorites.
Some of the things that I learned from Miki that are bunches of fun? Cute little baby games that integrate a small rhyme that he's already learned to anticipate something fun. (He either gets really still and waits, or he gets really spazzy.) Also, when he's crying for no reason, you can make funny noises by moving your finger to and from his mouth. (Turning Waaaaaaa to Wa-a-a-a-a-a) Sometimes the noise makes him stop crying!
So, be stupid. Babies love it.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
How to deal
I am Jude's main caretaker right now. I am almost always the only one who gets up with him during the night, I spend almost all day with him, and I like to think that I know him best. Unfortunately, a newborn comes with a lot of stress. At first, the stress didn't hit me. When it did, I had no idea how to deal with such a heavy load. I had no coping skills for this type of stress, and there was no way to get away for more than a couple hours. So, through mistakes and errors and trying again and again and again, I have learned. This is how I deal.
First and foremost, I love him. I love him and I play with him and I laugh with him. I have fun with him. I enjoy my son, and this takes so much pressure off.
Secondly, I ask for help. Frequently. I am lucky enough to live with a seasoned mom who loves my son. She has this way of knowing when I need a break, and when I just need to work through the stress. She also taught me how to play with a newborn, and helped me find different comfort techniques that work for Jude. I'm sure I would have learned on my own, but her help has been invaluable.
I escape in my mind, or more accurately, in a book. I've always loved to read, but now that my own situation can be very frustrating. For instance, I woke up with Jude 8 times last night, most of them just because he didn't feel good and he wanted to be held. I know that he couldn't help any of this, but I was on my last nerve. To keep me sane, I sat down and opened a book while I rocked him to sleep. I did this a few times, and once even while I was feeding him. I get so into the book that sometimes I even want to stay awake longer reading. (Don't. Go to sleep.) It helps.
Music! When I discovered how much music can make a difference (see post below), I started putting music on all the time. It entertains him, and it boosts my spirits when they're low. Most of the time it ends up with either him going to sleep, or me singing and dancing with him in my arms. Either way, a win.
With the help that I am given, I take breaks. I get away from the baby for a few minutes to a couple hours when I need to. I normally use this time to sleep, shower, or run an errand, but no matter what I'm doing, I'm away and the constant vigilance that I keep stops for a bit, and part of my brain relaxes that I didn't even know was tense.
I recommend all of these to new moms and new moms to be.
First and foremost, I love him. I love him and I play with him and I laugh with him. I have fun with him. I enjoy my son, and this takes so much pressure off.
Secondly, I ask for help. Frequently. I am lucky enough to live with a seasoned mom who loves my son. She has this way of knowing when I need a break, and when I just need to work through the stress. She also taught me how to play with a newborn, and helped me find different comfort techniques that work for Jude. I'm sure I would have learned on my own, but her help has been invaluable.
I escape in my mind, or more accurately, in a book. I've always loved to read, but now that my own situation can be very frustrating. For instance, I woke up with Jude 8 times last night, most of them just because he didn't feel good and he wanted to be held. I know that he couldn't help any of this, but I was on my last nerve. To keep me sane, I sat down and opened a book while I rocked him to sleep. I did this a few times, and once even while I was feeding him. I get so into the book that sometimes I even want to stay awake longer reading. (Don't. Go to sleep.) It helps.
Music! When I discovered how much music can make a difference (see post below), I started putting music on all the time. It entertains him, and it boosts my spirits when they're low. Most of the time it ends up with either him going to sleep, or me singing and dancing with him in my arms. Either way, a win.
With the help that I am given, I take breaks. I get away from the baby for a few minutes to a couple hours when I need to. I normally use this time to sleep, shower, or run an errand, but no matter what I'm doing, I'm away and the constant vigilance that I keep stops for a bit, and part of my brain relaxes that I didn't even know was tense.
I recommend all of these to new moms and new moms to be.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Moments to remember
People tell me to take pictures because they change so quickly. I have been doing this, more so than in the beginning, but I have decided that pictures are not enough. I like to think of myself as a writer and I'll be damned if I don't write down what I want to remember.
Our first dance together. He was about 3 weeks old and he was screaming his head off. I was stumped. I'd fed, changed, burped and cuddled him. He didn't seem to be in pain (different cry) but he certainly wasn't happy. I was getting a headache and very frustrated, so I decided to add some distractions to the mix. I put on music, picked up Jude, and started dancing around with him. The song was Bad Things by Jace Everett. Almost immediately he seemed to falter. I started singing along as I bounced, dipped, and spun him (safely in my arms, of course) around the living room. He stopped crying. I kept it up, and he put on his happy face. (Not quite a smile since he's just learning how to smile, but bright eyes and excited breathing.) By the end of the song, his eyes were drooping and his body was relaxed. I rocked him to sleep. From then on, this song always has a positive affect on him.
When a baby is born in the hospital, the mom, dad, and baby all get bands that have a number on it. The nurses must always check the number on each wrist before handing the baby over. For some reason, the nurses put Jude's identification band very tight around his ankle. This bothered me, but didn't seem to bother him, so I didn't say anything. The morning before I left, Jude came to us from the nursery sobbing. The nurse checked our numbers and handed him over, saying that he was hungry. I tried to breastfeed him, but he wouldn't stop crying. I became flustered very quickly and looked at Scott with a bit of desperation in my eyes. It was the first time that he'd cried and cried and I couldn't stop it. Jude kept throwing his head back to wail, his body was tense, and his back was arched. I couldn't get him to relax, and finally handed him to Scott because I was afraid that I was going to start crying with him. Scott looked a bit lost for a few seconds and then made a decision. He took off his shirt (babies like skin to skin contact) and laid down with Jude on his chest. Jude started to calm down, and as I started to feel relieved, I saw blood on Scott's stomach, where Jude's leg was. The plastic identification band was so tight on his left that it had cut into him. At this point Jude had fallen asleep on Scott's chest. I called in the nurse and luckily, he was getting discharged so they raised no issue with cutting it off. I don't know what I would have done without Scott and his good instincts.
More in later posts. I'm going to keep this up.
Our first dance together. He was about 3 weeks old and he was screaming his head off. I was stumped. I'd fed, changed, burped and cuddled him. He didn't seem to be in pain (different cry) but he certainly wasn't happy. I was getting a headache and very frustrated, so I decided to add some distractions to the mix. I put on music, picked up Jude, and started dancing around with him. The song was Bad Things by Jace Everett. Almost immediately he seemed to falter. I started singing along as I bounced, dipped, and spun him (safely in my arms, of course) around the living room. He stopped crying. I kept it up, and he put on his happy face. (Not quite a smile since he's just learning how to smile, but bright eyes and excited breathing.) By the end of the song, his eyes were drooping and his body was relaxed. I rocked him to sleep. From then on, this song always has a positive affect on him.
When a baby is born in the hospital, the mom, dad, and baby all get bands that have a number on it. The nurses must always check the number on each wrist before handing the baby over. For some reason, the nurses put Jude's identification band very tight around his ankle. This bothered me, but didn't seem to bother him, so I didn't say anything. The morning before I left, Jude came to us from the nursery sobbing. The nurse checked our numbers and handed him over, saying that he was hungry. I tried to breastfeed him, but he wouldn't stop crying. I became flustered very quickly and looked at Scott with a bit of desperation in my eyes. It was the first time that he'd cried and cried and I couldn't stop it. Jude kept throwing his head back to wail, his body was tense, and his back was arched. I couldn't get him to relax, and finally handed him to Scott because I was afraid that I was going to start crying with him. Scott looked a bit lost for a few seconds and then made a decision. He took off his shirt (babies like skin to skin contact) and laid down with Jude on his chest. Jude started to calm down, and as I started to feel relieved, I saw blood on Scott's stomach, where Jude's leg was. The plastic identification band was so tight on his left that it had cut into him. At this point Jude had fallen asleep on Scott's chest. I called in the nurse and luckily, he was getting discharged so they raised no issue with cutting it off. I don't know what I would have done without Scott and his good instincts.
More in later posts. I'm going to keep this up.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
You need more then just love. You need Pampers, too.
Jude is now a month old. In that time, I have gone through some of the biggest ups and downs of my life. I don't think that there is anything more frustrating and rewarding as a newborn. I'm learning as I go along. Learning how he likes to go to sleep, what he does when he's hungry, and something that has taken a bit longer, what supplies I need.
A friend and fellow blogger ( http://katesmakinbabies.blogspot.com/ ) Kate said in one of her posts that she doesn't quite yet feel ready to buy baby things, and I felt the same way when I was pregnant. I felt this way because I have no idea what babies need. I relied on my showers and parental advice to equip me for what I'd need. Now that I've had a month to get to know a newborn and what they need, I have a list for anyone to look at, and for me to remember when I have another baby a few years down the line. (Obviously, each baby is different and you need to specify to what your baby needs and wants. This is just what has been working for Jude and me.)
I had several different kinds of diapers to try out from various shower gifts, including Luvs, Huggies, Pampers, and Parent's Choice (Walmart brand). I have been trying to find the cheapest, best brands out of everything to buy, so I was glad that I disliked Luvs and Huggies. (Both leaked out of the side.) I loved Pampers, and liked Parent's Choice. I decided to go with Parent's Choice, but found out that they also leak from the side, and they aren't as comfortable as Pampers. I decided to spend the extra money for dry clothes and a more comfortable baby. Pampers win. I buy 100 at a time. (The normal kind, not the new Swaddlers brand they have for sensitive baby butts.)
Since Jude is not picky about wipes, I go with Parent's Choice. I buy 3 packages at a time.
With all of the wonderful contributors at my baby showers, I had about 50 newborn onesies. They say that you cannot have too many onesies, but I think that they're wrong. Especially when he outgrew the NB size and had to start wearing the 0-3 size in about a week after birth. I didn't even use half of them. Not only that, but I only had about 10 0-3 onesies. After doing laundry every other day for a couple weeks, and sometimes having to squeeze him back into the NB onesies because he'd spit up, had a blow out, and urinated on every clean 0-3 onesie that I had, I bought a few more cheap ones at Walmart. Onesies are almost disposable. Unless you get some nice ones bought for or handed down to you, do not invest in designer onesies. (If you do, despite my advice, go for The Children's Place and Calvin Klein onesies. So comfortable and durable!)
Car seat, stroller, and Bjorn were all given to me from moms who no longer need them. You need the first two, but I seriously advise investing or finding someone to donate to you a Bjorn. So much easier to carry around a baby in a Bjorn then in a car seat. Car seats are heavy, bulky, and although the safest thing ever, very inconvenient. Carrying baby in the Bjorn is almost like being pregnant again. Kind of heavy and after awhile of walking around your back hurts, but Jude sleeps the entire time when I'm shopping. Win.
Mechanical swing! Also had this donated to me, and could not love it more. For instance, right now he is dozing in it while I type on the computer and eat lunch. He would not be dozing in his crib, car seat, or even in my arms. He wants to be in the swing. Worth it.
Cutesie clothes. Not practical, but worth it for those get togethers when you want to dress up nice and you want him to dress up nice. (Bring a couple onesies for when he ruins his outfit, which he will, but the entrance is the important part.) They're fun and great for pictures. Only problem is that they aren't comfy. If baby seems more fussy than usual, go ahead and put him back in the onesie.
My NB bath tub is nice... but not what I what I expected it to be. Sure, it fits in a double kitchen sink, recycles the water the entire time, and tells me the temp, but it doesn't support his body at all and washing him is a constant struggle. Also, it's huge. I have no place for it. Perhaps go with a less complicated bath and make sure it has some sort of body support.
Blankets! When I started buying baby blankets, I was looking at the super comfortable, puffy, snuggle blankets. Unfortunately, they're too thick to swaddle the baby with, and generally too warm to use. They also don't absorb liquids well. (When you're feeding your baby and some milk comes out of his mouth, you'll grab the nearest thing to you to wipe his face.) So what blankets do I use over and over again? The 4 flannel blankets that came in a package. Light weight, absorbent, swaddle-able, and cheap. Like onesies. I bought 4 more.
Towels and washcloths. Towels for baths and washcloths for everything. But, buy big towels. Right now all I have are the infant towels and they're cute and have a little hood, but they barely cover all of him after the bath, and babies almost always scream after baths because they're cold. (Note to self: Buy bigger, softer towels when you have a chance.)
A few other things that have truly saved my sanity?
Boppys (Especially if you're breastfeeding!). Get two, and 4 different Boppy covers.
http://www.amazon.com/Boppy-Expandable-Miracle-Middle-Pillow/dp/B000KW5I6E
Bottle drying rack and bottle cleaner. Believe me, you won't have time to wash them in the dishwasher.
Diaper changing pads. (For those spills and random pee moments while changing the diaper.)
Different kinds of bottles and nipples to decide what you like. (I go with Avent and Soothie brand. Same with pacifiers.) At least 4 pacifiers and 8 bottles. Yummy smelling Johnson's baby wash and lotion. (Cucumber melon for day time and Lavender for night time :D) I at first went with Aveeno, but I don't like the smell and it doesn't seem to be any more soothing and soft.
Diaper trash that has the flip opening to lock the diapers (and smell) in it. ( http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Trend-Diaper-Champ-Blue/dp/B000CCEWBY )
Butt Paste. Funny name, seriously great at treating and preventing diaper rash. ( http://www.amazon.com/Boudreauxs-Butt-Paste/dp/B0006OG6RQ )
A good monitor.
Mylicon. ( http://www.mylicon.com/ ) Why is he screaming? Sometimes a fed, changed, burped, healthy, cuddled, and comfortable baby will scream. In those times, I use Mylicon in case it's gas. Babies love the taste and it works.
Nail clippers.
A good nose aspirator.
A couple infant toys that rattle, bzzzzz, crinkle, and have a bunch of colors. Put these in his mouth, in his hands, and teach him all the new sensations with them.
A large and fully stocked diaper bag. I at first had this super cute one that my sister in law got me, but it was too small for normal use. I went to Baby's R Us and bought this http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3199293 . Has a huge compartment for just about anything, an insulated part for a bottle, and several smaller compartments for things like pacifiers, cell phones, and anything else. I rarely ever use a purse now. Plus, when Scott uses it he won't look like he's carrying a purse. I'm sure this makes him happy :)
Wipe warmer. Babies hate cold butts and nothing turns a night feeding more unpleasant then a screaming baby while you're changing him. (Ok, maybe not nothing, but you get the idea.)
A few things that didn't work for me?
Pee pee teepee. http://www.bebabean.com/product/pptp/index.aspx Cute idea (put it on a little boy's penis while changing him to make sure you don't get peed on) but you still get peed on. Instead, do a few quick flips with the diaper to make sure he at least pees down.
A crib moving picture thing. Like a mobile but it hangs on the side and looks like a jungle or an ocean and it has nature sounds and moving colors. He did not care about it and preferred a non moving colorful mobile that I made myself. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2265070&CAWELAID=107513638 .
Blankets made for swaddling. http://www.mypreciouskid.com/swaddle-blanket-sleep-sack.html Have the nurses teach you how to do an actual swaddle with a blanket instead. Cheaper and the babies are used to it when they leave the hospital.
Towel robe. Adorable, but not practical. He wants to be warm and wrapped up, not clothed. http://www.babyearth.com/under-the-nile-organics-terry-bath-robe.html
I'm sure I could keep going on both, but I've covered quite a bit. I'm glad i have this to look back on, and hopefully other moms will chime in and new moms might get something from it. :)
A friend and fellow blogger ( http://katesmakinbabies.blogspot.com/ ) Kate said in one of her posts that she doesn't quite yet feel ready to buy baby things, and I felt the same way when I was pregnant. I felt this way because I have no idea what babies need. I relied on my showers and parental advice to equip me for what I'd need. Now that I've had a month to get to know a newborn and what they need, I have a list for anyone to look at, and for me to remember when I have another baby a few years down the line. (Obviously, each baby is different and you need to specify to what your baby needs and wants. This is just what has been working for Jude and me.)
I had several different kinds of diapers to try out from various shower gifts, including Luvs, Huggies, Pampers, and Parent's Choice (Walmart brand). I have been trying to find the cheapest, best brands out of everything to buy, so I was glad that I disliked Luvs and Huggies. (Both leaked out of the side.) I loved Pampers, and liked Parent's Choice. I decided to go with Parent's Choice, but found out that they also leak from the side, and they aren't as comfortable as Pampers. I decided to spend the extra money for dry clothes and a more comfortable baby. Pampers win. I buy 100 at a time. (The normal kind, not the new Swaddlers brand they have for sensitive baby butts.)
Since Jude is not picky about wipes, I go with Parent's Choice. I buy 3 packages at a time.
With all of the wonderful contributors at my baby showers, I had about 50 newborn onesies. They say that you cannot have too many onesies, but I think that they're wrong. Especially when he outgrew the NB size and had to start wearing the 0-3 size in about a week after birth. I didn't even use half of them. Not only that, but I only had about 10 0-3 onesies. After doing laundry every other day for a couple weeks, and sometimes having to squeeze him back into the NB onesies because he'd spit up, had a blow out, and urinated on every clean 0-3 onesie that I had, I bought a few more cheap ones at Walmart. Onesies are almost disposable. Unless you get some nice ones bought for or handed down to you, do not invest in designer onesies. (If you do, despite my advice, go for The Children's Place and Calvin Klein onesies. So comfortable and durable!)
Car seat, stroller, and Bjorn were all given to me from moms who no longer need them. You need the first two, but I seriously advise investing or finding someone to donate to you a Bjorn. So much easier to carry around a baby in a Bjorn then in a car seat. Car seats are heavy, bulky, and although the safest thing ever, very inconvenient. Carrying baby in the Bjorn is almost like being pregnant again. Kind of heavy and after awhile of walking around your back hurts, but Jude sleeps the entire time when I'm shopping. Win.
Mechanical swing! Also had this donated to me, and could not love it more. For instance, right now he is dozing in it while I type on the computer and eat lunch. He would not be dozing in his crib, car seat, or even in my arms. He wants to be in the swing. Worth it.
Cutesie clothes. Not practical, but worth it for those get togethers when you want to dress up nice and you want him to dress up nice. (Bring a couple onesies for when he ruins his outfit, which he will, but the entrance is the important part.) They're fun and great for pictures. Only problem is that they aren't comfy. If baby seems more fussy than usual, go ahead and put him back in the onesie.
My NB bath tub is nice... but not what I what I expected it to be. Sure, it fits in a double kitchen sink, recycles the water the entire time, and tells me the temp, but it doesn't support his body at all and washing him is a constant struggle. Also, it's huge. I have no place for it. Perhaps go with a less complicated bath and make sure it has some sort of body support.
Blankets! When I started buying baby blankets, I was looking at the super comfortable, puffy, snuggle blankets. Unfortunately, they're too thick to swaddle the baby with, and generally too warm to use. They also don't absorb liquids well. (When you're feeding your baby and some milk comes out of his mouth, you'll grab the nearest thing to you to wipe his face.) So what blankets do I use over and over again? The 4 flannel blankets that came in a package. Light weight, absorbent, swaddle-able, and cheap. Like onesies. I bought 4 more.
Towels and washcloths. Towels for baths and washcloths for everything. But, buy big towels. Right now all I have are the infant towels and they're cute and have a little hood, but they barely cover all of him after the bath, and babies almost always scream after baths because they're cold. (Note to self: Buy bigger, softer towels when you have a chance.)
A few other things that have truly saved my sanity?
Boppys (Especially if you're breastfeeding!). Get two, and 4 different Boppy covers.
http://www.amazon.com/Boppy-Expandable-Miracle-Middle-Pillow/dp/B000KW5I6E
Bottle drying rack and bottle cleaner. Believe me, you won't have time to wash them in the dishwasher.
Diaper changing pads. (For those spills and random pee moments while changing the diaper.)
Different kinds of bottles and nipples to decide what you like. (I go with Avent and Soothie brand. Same with pacifiers.) At least 4 pacifiers and 8 bottles. Yummy smelling Johnson's baby wash and lotion. (Cucumber melon for day time and Lavender for night time :D) I at first went with Aveeno, but I don't like the smell and it doesn't seem to be any more soothing and soft.
Diaper trash that has the flip opening to lock the diapers (and smell) in it. ( http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Trend-Diaper-Champ-Blue/dp/B000CCEWBY )
Butt Paste. Funny name, seriously great at treating and preventing diaper rash. ( http://www.amazon.com/Boudreauxs-Butt-Paste/dp/B0006OG6RQ )
A good monitor.
Mylicon. ( http://www.mylicon.com/ ) Why is he screaming? Sometimes a fed, changed, burped, healthy, cuddled, and comfortable baby will scream. In those times, I use Mylicon in case it's gas. Babies love the taste and it works.
Nail clippers.
A good nose aspirator.
A couple infant toys that rattle, bzzzzz, crinkle, and have a bunch of colors. Put these in his mouth, in his hands, and teach him all the new sensations with them.
A large and fully stocked diaper bag. I at first had this super cute one that my sister in law got me, but it was too small for normal use. I went to Baby's R Us and bought this http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3199293 . Has a huge compartment for just about anything, an insulated part for a bottle, and several smaller compartments for things like pacifiers, cell phones, and anything else. I rarely ever use a purse now. Plus, when Scott uses it he won't look like he's carrying a purse. I'm sure this makes him happy :)
Wipe warmer. Babies hate cold butts and nothing turns a night feeding more unpleasant then a screaming baby while you're changing him. (Ok, maybe not nothing, but you get the idea.)
A few things that didn't work for me?
Pee pee teepee. http://www.bebabean.com/product/pptp/index.aspx Cute idea (put it on a little boy's penis while changing him to make sure you don't get peed on) but you still get peed on. Instead, do a few quick flips with the diaper to make sure he at least pees down.
A crib moving picture thing. Like a mobile but it hangs on the side and looks like a jungle or an ocean and it has nature sounds and moving colors. He did not care about it and preferred a non moving colorful mobile that I made myself. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2265070&CAWELAID=107513638 .
Blankets made for swaddling. http://www.mypreciouskid.com/swaddle-blanket-sleep-sack.html Have the nurses teach you how to do an actual swaddle with a blanket instead. Cheaper and the babies are used to it when they leave the hospital.
Towel robe. Adorable, but not practical. He wants to be warm and wrapped up, not clothed. http://www.babyearth.com/under-the-nile-organics-terry-bath-robe.html
I'm sure I could keep going on both, but I've covered quite a bit. I'm glad i have this to look back on, and hopefully other moms will chime in and new moms might get something from it. :)
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